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Barack Hussein Obama vs. John McCain vs. Paris (Hot) Hilton
August 10, 2008

After the smoke clears on November 4, 2008, and John McCain emerges as our next American president (if he can last that long); Barack Hussein Obama, version 2.0 (along with his deluded fanatical supporters nationwide and in Iran) will hysterically proclaim he lost the election because he is black. Their assessment will be totally off the mark, but that seems to be “business as usual” for Democrats.

Obama will NOT have lost because of his skin color. The only color issue in this election is Obama’s disquieting practice of labeling every person who criticizes his qualifications or policies as “racist.”

Obama will lose instead because he is inexperienced, hypocritical, elitist, and in many cases just plain stupid. Add to that his long-standing associations with friends, supporters and campaign volunteers of questionable character who have engaged in disruptive societal or criminal behavior, and it becomes clear Obama should not be our next president.

Obama’s well-known disdain for America’s military servicemen and women also casts doubt on his suitability to be their “commander-in-chief.” I advise military servicemen and women to think long and hard about Obama’s pathetic lack of experience in diplomacy, military strategy or international terrorism before they vote for the “lesser of two evils.” McCain wants to kill terrorists. Obama wants to socialize with them (but he recently declined to visit wounded American soldiers in a hospital in Germany).

Yes, this is the election year of “the lesser of two evils.” Do we vote for a thinly disguised ultra left-wing radical who labels his opponents “racists,” or do we vote for an equally unqualified senior citizen concealing a Democrat heart inside a Republican body?

About two years ago I heard (on NPR) a short interview with Senator Barack Obama. That was before anyone knew he would run for president. What struck me immediately was his apparent youth and intelligence. (Quite unusual for an elected politician.)

At the conclusion of the interview, I surmised that sooner or later Obama would run for president. I’m not quite sure why that thought struck me but it probably stemmed from a subconscious fantasy that someday America will have another intelligent president instead of a “challenged” (being kind) president with a weak staff including a schizophrenic vice-president pulling all the strings.

A few weeks after that I heard (again on NPR) an interview with a black female “race expert” educator explaining how Obama could never be president because “whites in America will never elect a black president.” Before hearing this interview, I had no idea Obama was black. I was also unaware he was considering throwing his hat into the ring (or his ring into the hat - I never remember for sure how that goes).

“Well,” I replied (I talk back to the radio sometimes) “I don’t give a shit if he’s purple with red polka-dots. I’ll vote for him if he sells me on his policies and plans.” And I meant it. And I’m white. Go figure, you stupid, bigoted, misguided race-analysts.

The following week I heard yet another interview with an alleged race expert (again on NPR) who explained how Obama would never receive significant support from black voters because he is not “black” enough.

According to the “race analysts” Obama was dead in the waters of American hatred, bigotry and racism. Who pays to have these idiots interviewed on the radio anyway? I’m fed up with “race experts” who derive the majority of their fabricated or unsubstantiated data from Al Sharpton, the NAACP, or surveys conducted in the 50’s and 60’s.

This is not the 60’s any more. The majority of Americans have moved on from there and when all is said and done, it is the “majority” that elects the president. I’m not talking “majority race,” I’m talking majority of “citizens,” each one voting for a candidate they believe is best qualified for the job.

I looked forward to the campaign, assuming the best qualified candidate would rise to the top (hoping it would be Obama). Or so I imagined. What followed was a Democratic party media spectacle that established conclusively America’s total disgust with Hillary Clinton and her cheating husband. Barack did not win the democratic party nod because he was qualified. He won because American voters believed Hillary needed to go down.

Given the Clinton legacy, Hillary would probably have lost to Paris Hilton if those were the only two Democratic candidates in the race. (More on Paris later.) Even Rush Limbaugh’s enthusiastic support of Hillary proved ineffective. Hey Rush, Operation Chaos failed. You were its leader. You failed. Now you get paid $400,000,000 for failure. Pretty good! I guess that’s the ultra-conservative version of capitalism. Sorry, back to the Obama blog...

Obama of course thinks he beat Hillary because people believe in him. To this day he is blissfully unaware of the reality that he was merely the club used to chastise Hillary, and nothing more. Now that Hillary is out of the picture (something she still declines to acknowledge), Democrats are looking around for a real presidential candidate and discovering McCain is a better Democrat than Obama.

As intelligent as I originally believed Obama to be, he went out of his way to prove my initial impression wrong by repeatedly attempting to swallow his own foot. I have to admit, I was wrong. There. I said it. I was wrong.

Obama is not “intelligent,” he is only educated. Obama has no vision for America. He is only obsessed with being president. He does not think beyond that. Obama has no credible energy policy, no credible education policy, no credible immigration policy, no credible anti-terrorism policy, no credible economic policy, actually no credible policies at all. I suppose he expects people to vote for him because he likes to work out, he is not green like the George Washington depicted on the one-dollar bill, and he drives around on properly inflated tires.

To date, the only policy Obama seems to support is taking money away from hard-working people like me and redistributing it to all the poor people in the world. That way everyone in the world will eventually be poor (except the politicians who invest in tax-exempt securities, like Obama). I’ve seen this policy before. In the 60’s everybody called it “Communism.”

Sorry, Barack. You are not who or what I thought you were. I was for you before you even entered the race and you let me down. Color was never, ever an issue or even a consideration. I wanted you to be “the man,” and you crushed my hopes more and more every time you opened your mouth. Problem is (not for me but for you) I don’t even know who is really talking when words come out of your mouth. I don’t know whether it is you or one of your campaign puppeteers speaking the left-wing or racist rhetoric.

I would say “Better luck next time,” but I don’t believe there will be a next time. When this election is over you will sink into the obscurity of textbook footnotes, buried under thousands of lawsuits from people who had auto accidents because you convinced them to over-inflate their tires to save energy. I guess all those scientists neglected to inform you that overinflated tires on wet roads are dangerous. At least you won’t be left screaming “I could’ve been a contender.” You were a contender until you knocked yourself out.

Which brings us all to the most pressing current dilemma in our country’s history. Who should we vote for in the upcoming election? Obama is a no-go. McCain is the lesser of two evils but the odds of him surviving the first term are terrible (just ask any life insurance underwriter). If McCain wins, his vice-president is statistically certain to become president before the ink is dry on our ballots. We don’t have sufficient time to evaluate a vice-presidential nominee before the general election. Is there any hope at all?

Hope sometimes springs from unexpected circumstances, and I perceive a glimmer of hope. Last week’s campaign ad bickering between McCain and Obama introduced a fresh and unexpected potential candidate for voter consideration.

This one is female (we could still have a historic “first”); she has a credible energy policy that combines Democrat and Republican positions (showing she can cross the aisle); she is “hot” (when was the last time we had a “hot” president); she has a large following even though she can’t sing; she intends to liven up the White House by painting it pink (the White House needs a facelift); she has interesting ideas regarding a vice-presidential running mate; and judging from her first political ad, she has better campaign advisors than Obama or McCain.

You think I’m not serious? Then answer this. If Paris Hilton became president, do you truly believe she could do a worse job than either Obama or McCain? And her family has the money to fund a last-minute campaign without begging us all for more contributions. I rest my case.

By the way Paris, nice ad.

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