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Japanese Naval Officers Mix Pornography and Missile Secrets
April 5, 2007

In my blog entry of February 12, I suggested Japanese men in large numbers were experiencing erectile dysfunction problems caused by feelings of inadequacy after viewing American and European produced Internet pornography.

My theory garnered support today from a news report of Japanese naval officers who recently caused a scandal when they were caught swapping computer disks with pornographic images that were stored on their Navy computers.

Unfortunately for them, the disks also contained classified information about the Aegis missile system. The incident is even more problematic for Japan’s national security agencies since none of the three officers involved in the pornography swap were authorized access to the Aegis information. This raises the distinct possibility of additional personnel involved in the pornography swap.

Not that I care about the Aegis missile information. It is more interesting to me that Japanese officers are swapping pornography. I can’t help wondering whether it is the homegrown Japanese variety or the American/European variety. If anyone knows, please send me a quick email with the facts.

If the pornography in question is of American or European origin, a follow-up inquiry is in order to determine whether any of the officers involved has erectile dysfunction problems. If so, that would go a long way towards lending credibility to my theories on the declining Japanese birth rate.

Spokesmen for Japan’s Defense Ministry and local police declined to comment on the pornography/missile data investigation. They are probably all too occupied carefully reviewing all of the “data files” on the disks and computers.

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