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Form Pandemic Strikes American Doctors
December 2, 2006

This is an account of my typical visit to a doctor’s office.

1. I call to make an appointment. The receptionist asks me what the problem is. She also inquires as to the symptoms. Just once, I’d like to say, “I’m coming in, you don’t need to know what’s wrong. Let’s just surprise the doctor.” Why should the receptionist know what’s wrong with me? How do I know she won’t blog about me on the Internet that evening?

2. At the appointed date and time, I go to the doctor’s office. The receptionist hands me a form. The form requests not only the obligatory health insurance information, but also a wealth of information about my entire medical history. I must write down dates and details of all past surgeries and illnesses; my parents and siblings medical histories; my smoking and drinking frequencies; my current problem; and finally a list of all medications I am currently taking (if any). I hand the completed form to the receptionist and take my seat in the waiting room.

3. A short time later a “screener” weighs me; takes my blood pressure, pulse and temperature; asks what today’s problem is and THEN, asks me every single question I just answered on the form. The screener writes everything I tell her on a new form and takes me into an examining room to wait for the doctor.

4. In comes the doctor. We do the handshake thing and the doctor proceeds to take my blood pressure and ask me all manner of questions I already answered for both the receptionist and the screener. My doctor refers me to a specialist. My doctor’s staff makes an appointment for me with the specialist and faxes the information on my case to the specialist.

At the appointed date and time, I go to the specialist’s office. The receptionist hands me a form to complete. It requests all of the same information I completed in step number 2 above. I tell the receptionist I already filled out a form like this and it was faxed to the specialist’s office when the appointment was made. The receptionist explains that she needs all the same information on “her” form.

You can see where this is going. Am I the only one to whom this is happening? There might be a legitimate reason for this harassment by the doctor and his medical staff, but I cannot fathom what it might be. Maybe they all think I’m lying and they can trip me up by having me repeat my story over and over. Maybe the doctor doesn’t trust his staff to write everything down correctly (or maybe he can’t read their handwriting). What would they do if I was brought in unconscious?

I do have a solution though. I just printed my entire medical history, my family’s medical history and all other information normally required on the doctor’s “nuisance” forms on one sheet of letter-size paper. Since the amount of information is substantial, I had to print the information using 4-point text with quarter-inch margins to make it all fit.

Whenever I am given a form to fill out, I will simply print my name on the doctor’s forms and write below that, “see attached document.” If harassed further, I will develop a sudden case of arthritis in my right hand and wrist that renders me incapable of writing.

If the receptionist, screener and doctor can not read the 4-point text, they should see an eye-doctor for reading glasses. Then they can experience what I’ve been going through for years.

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