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2009
Jun – 1
7
10
26
30 December –
21
2008
September – 12
October – 28
November – 7
February – 10
March – 9
11 August –
10
11
13
2007
April – 1
5
10
11
14
19
24
26
May – 2
January – 1
2
5
8
13
15
22
30
February – 7
8
12
2006
December – 1
2
3
4
5
8
9
10
11
13
15
17
19
24
25
27
November – 19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
The Second Day After
November 25, 2006
This year I carefully planned the Saturday after Thanksgiving. With
no desire to fight traffic, parking and other shoppers on
Black Friday, I stayed home that day to relax and watch
movies. It seemed only natural that the frazzled
Friday shoppers would be at home Saturday, their
discretionary income as exhausted as they were.
The plan for Saturday was simple. Grocery shopping in the morning with a
stop by SAM’s on the way home to drop off the groceries.
Then on to Best Buy, Target and WalMart. That would afford me the opportunity to purchase gifts
for everyone on my Christmas list. One busy day to get all
the holiday shopping done.
The grocery trip went well enough. Wrangled the Christmas
turkey and enough culinary fare to last through the end
of December. Drove to SAM’s. I was in luck; parking spaces
galore and hardly any crowd. I could take my time, relax and check
things out.
This is the point where most men, including myself fall off
the plan; on the loose in SAM’s with lots of time and a
credit card with too much balance available. It seemed a
good time to find the presents I needed for my gift list.
Pushing a wobbly shopping cart along (why are the carts
always wobbly), I picked up a new-fangled portable heater for the house,
season 7 of Seinfeld for my DVD collection, boxes and boxes
of hot chocolate for those cold winter nights, and Turbo-Tax software for 2006. Topped it off
with a package of “premium” Hanes underwear, even though I
have no idea why they’re “premium.”
Seemed like a good start. Went home to unload the groceries
and headed for Best Buy. Truth be known, I hate that store
but one never knows what unique electronic gift might lie in
wait in the aisles. Walked out of Best Buy an hour later with
nothing more than a head full of information about rear
projection, LCD and plasma televisions.
Went next door to Target. I've been replacing VHS movies in my
movie collection with DVDs for years. Target was good to me today. I
found
eight VHS movies for $5 each, almost half the price being
charged at Amazon.com. Ship that for free Amazon.com.
Target aced you this time around. Finished up with a few
Hanes sweat suits (“premium” of course) and a miracle
magnetic knife sharpener.
Realizing the shopping list for gifts was being neglected, I
drove to WalMart. By now it was almost midnight (did I
mention my late start on the day because I overslept three
hours), and
fatigue was taking hold. Wandering through WalMart in a daze,
I picked up a few more replacement DVDs plus the first two
sets of James Bond re-releases. Been looking for those in
DVD for years. Got some hot dogs for a late supper and
headed home.
Now I find myself sitting at my desk nodding out while I stare at a 10-inch
animated wing-flapping, blinking-light, singing turkey that
somehow jumped into my shopping cart at WalMart. The
hot dogs are too salty, my thighs are sore from all that walking
and I somehow failed to buy even one present for anyone on
my shopping list. I can’t imagine anyone would want the
singing Turkey.
OK, new rule this year. Everyone buys presents for
themselves. That way everyone gets what they want and there
are no disappointments.
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