2008
February – 10     March – 9 11
2007
April – 1 5 10 11 14 19 24 26     May – 2
January – 1 2 5 8 13 15 22 30     February – 7 8 12 
2006
December – 1 2 3 4 5 8 9 10 11 13 15 17 19 24 25 27
November – 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

The Second Day After
November 25, 2006

This year I carefully planned the Saturday after Thanksgiving. With no desire to fight traffic, parking and other shoppers on Black Friday, I stayed home that day to relax and watch movies. It seemed only natural that the frazzled Friday shoppers would be at home Saturday, their discretionary income as exhausted as they were.

The plan for Saturday was simple. Grocery shopping in the morning with a stop by SAM’s on the way home to drop off the groceries. Then on to Best Buy, Target and WalMart. That would afford me the opportunity to purchase gifts for everyone on my Christmas list. One busy day to get all the holiday shopping done.

The grocery trip went well enough. Wrangled the Christmas turkey and enough culinary fare to last through the end of December. Drove to SAM’s. I was in luck; parking spaces galore and hardly any crowd. I could take my time, relax and check things out.

This is the point where most men, including myself fall off the plan; on the loose in SAM’s with lots of time and a credit card with too much balance available. It seemed a good time to find the presents I needed for my gift list.

Pushing a wobbly shopping cart along (why are the carts always wobbly), I picked up a new-fangled portable heater for the house, season 7 of Seinfeld for my DVD collection, boxes and boxes of hot chocolate for those cold winter nights, and Turbo-Tax software for 2006. Topped it off with a package of “premium” Hanes underwear, even though I have no idea why they’re “premium.”

Seemed like a good start. Went home to unload the groceries and headed for Best Buy. Truth be known, I hate that store but one never knows what unique electronic gift might lie in wait in the aisles. Walked out of Best Buy an hour later with nothing more than a head full of information about rear projection, LCD and plasma televisions.

Went next door to Target. I've been replacing VHS movies in my movie collection with DVDs for years. Target was good to me today. I found eight VHS movies for $5 each, almost half the price being charged at Amazon.com. Ship that for free Amazon.com. Target aced you this time around. Finished up with a few Hanes sweat suits (“premium” of course) and a miracle magnetic knife sharpener.

Realizing the shopping list for gifts was being neglected, I drove to WalMart. By now it was almost midnight (did I mention my late start on the day because I overslept three hours), and fatigue was taking hold. Wandering through WalMart in a daze, I picked up a few more replacement DVDs plus the first two sets of James Bond re-releases. Been looking for those in DVD for years. Got some hot dogs for a late supper and headed home.

Now I find myself sitting at my desk nodding out while I stare at a 10-inch animated wing-flapping, blinking-light, singing turkey that somehow jumped into my shopping cart at WalMart. The hot dogs are too salty, my thighs are sore from all that walking and I somehow failed to buy even one present for anyone on my shopping list. I can’t imagine anyone would want the singing Turkey.

OK, new rule this year. Everyone buys presents for themselves. That way everyone gets what they want and there are no disappointments.

TOP