Democrat Game Rules May Change
March 11, 2008

No, this is not about the Democratic Party rule that deletes two of the 50 states from the upcoming party convention. This is about the contestant rules I wrote about in my March 9 blog.

Now that the Obama “campaign” has crucified a trusted advisor for being honest (as required by the rules), it is Clinton’s turn to stage a crucifixion. As if by design, a unique opportunity has presented itself.

Remember Geraldine Ferraro. Most people won’t, but she was actually the Democratic Party’s vice-presidential nominee in 1984. Her nomination to that status effectively killed that year’s Democratic Party quest for the presidency. Walter Mondale built the Democratic Party coffin and Ferraro hammered in the nails.

Ferraro is now spending time bilking people out of their hard-earned money to pay for Hillary Clinton’s contest entry fees. Go figure. Not that Ferraro is very successful at fund raising. If she were, Hillary would not have had to contribute personal funds to her own campaign a few weeks ago. Apparently Ferraro is about as successful at fund raising as she was in marching the Democratic Party to victory in 1984.

Ferraro offered herself up for crucifixion on Friday when she said publicly, “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

As expected, a senior Obama campaign advisor called on Hillary Clinton to “repudiate” Ferraro’s comments. Hillary could crucify Ferraro either by dismissing her from the campaign finance committee or with an appropriately worded response to Ferraro’s comments. But will she? I don’t think so.

After all; Ferraro has raised a few pennies for the Hillary boondoggle, but how would it look if Hillary fired at another woman? That would not endear her to her female supporters. Votes are at stake here. The only way to handle this situation is to change the rules of the game.

OK. from now on we stop crucifying supporters and staffers who become emotional about the competition. We will relinquish that role to Al Sharpton. Come on Al, where are you? Someone uttered a sentence with the word “black” in it and you are strangely silent. Are you ill?

As fate would have it though, Ferraro, like Power is absolutely correct in her assessment of a candidate. Obama would NOT be where he is now if he lived in a different color skin. He would never have garnered the attention of the press if he wasn’t black. His message (whatever that is) would never have received airtime. Imagine a white candidate with no credible experience and no intelligent position on any major issue announcing a run for the presidency. We would all have a good laugh and go about our business. It might not even be worth a good laugh.

But Americans love entertainment and what could be more entertaining. Here we have running for president an older white woman who claims everybody is ganging up on her because she’s a woman, and an inexperienced, well-spoken and intelligent black man with no agenda except to “make history.”

This is the stuff successful sit-coms on television are made of. Remarkably, this show even stayed on the air during the writers strike. In this sitcom game show, neither candidate has the courage or honesty to take on the other candidate, so they both assign that task to staffers and supporters who can then be crucified for doing exactly what they were expected to do.

I suppose this television sitcom will be cancelled about the time of the Democratic Party convention and we will all move on to the business of electing the white male Democrat candidate for president, McCain. This game show is losing more and more viewers every day because the cast members are poor actors and totally unbelievable.

But what of Ferraro? It gets more and more interesting. She is definitely honest but also divisive. Criticism of her comments about Obama motivated her to respond that she is being criticized for her remarks because she is white. Wow, another Hillary. I'm waiting for Ferraro to cry on national television.

Ferraro then implied if Obama defeated Clinton in the party selection game she would not raise money to support his race for the presidency against McCain if he continued to criticize her. Don't you just love politics?

Get this Geraldine; “If Hillary was a man, she would not be in this position. And if she was black, she would not be in this position. She happens to be very lucky to be who she is. And the country is caught up in the concept.” Damned if it doesn’t fit both of the Democratic Party losers running for president.

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Off The Record
March 9, 2008

Samantha Power is the latest casualty in America’s greatest comedy of all time, the 2008 Democratic Party presidential candidate Marathon and Dirty Tricks Show.

To liven up this televised spectacle for the American public, the Democratic contestants make up the rules as they go along. The rules of course, are secret but apparently require the periodic crucifixion of one or another contestant’s trusted advisors for being honest (and of course for game publicity).

Samantha Power is no lightweight. A graduate of Yale University and Harvard Law School as well as an experienced journalist, Power won a Pulitzer Prize for General Non-Fiction in 2003. I accord her a moderate degree of credibility even if she does tend to support no-chance causes like an Obama presidency or US military intervention in out-of-the-way places with no oil reserves, like Darfur.

Unfortunately, Power dropped her guard during a newspaper interview last week when she referred to Hillary Clinton as “a monster.” She allegedly made her remarks “off the record” but should have known better. She was once a journalist and understands full well that nothing is ever “off the record.”

Following publication of Power’s remarks in a Scottish newspaper, the Clinton “campaign” demanded she be crucified. Although settlement terms were not publicly disclosed, Obama somehow avoided personal involvement in the crucifixion by convincing her to nail her own self to the cross. She complied by resigning.

Too bad. It distresses me deeply when someone is punished for being honest. That is exactly what happened to Power, even though she went out of her way to be polite during the interview. The truth is that Hillary Clinton is worse than any mere monster. Hillary is the impending scourge of our beloved American way of life. Hillary deserves to be labeled worse things than “a monster,” but I try to avoid profanity in my blogs. So I will restrain myself and merely echo Samantha Power’s accurate yet understated honest statement of fact that Hillary Clinton is a monster.

Hillary intends to tax me into oblivion while she gives away my hard-earned money to lazy people who don't work. Hillary intends to take away my health care and redistribute it to lazy people who don’t pay for their own. Hillary intends to make it easy for every terrorist in the world to enter and stay in the United States. She will even give them free scholarships to attend our institutions of higher learning.

Hillary intends to starve us all by turning our food into fuel. Hillary believes husbands should be permitted to commit adultery. Hillary believes personal opinions carry more weight than scientific evidence in matters related to alleged global warming. Hillary believes any criticism of her or her ludicrous positions is a gender-oriented personal attack. Hillary is schizophrenic. Hillary is out of control, out of her mind and well . . . she’s a monster.

Samantha, I’m still a fan. Please take things in stride and continue supporting the causes you tend to gravitate towards. Without you it would be difficult to point to a textbook example of the stereotypical left-wing extremist. But you’re honest. I’ll give you that. Dinner at my house any time. I just need three or four days advance notice and I promise everything you say in my home will be “off the record.”

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Republican Party Murdered by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity
February 10, 2008

Conservative spokesmoron Rush Limbaugh and Reagan worshiper Sean Hannity have finally been bitch-slapped by the ice-cold breeze of political and social reality.

God long ago recalled his talent on loan to Rush (with interest) and Sean still believes Ronald Reagan was once president, even given the fact that everybody else knows Ronald’s wife Nancy and her personal astrologer ran the country, not Ronald. Ronald had departed on a tour of alternate universes.

Radio entertainers like Rush and Sean with delusional fantasies are amusing. After a while though, their lack of an anchor in reality renders them bothersome and pathetic; but mostly just plain pathetic. Rush and Sean claim to be influential. And they are. The irony is that together their influence has motivated a mass exodus of American Republicans away from the Republican party due to disillusionment with Rush and Sean’s concept of conservatism.

Rush and Sean’s personal definitions of “conservatism” are unrealistic, presumptions and religiously bigoted. No amount of blabbering on the radio will ever cause a rebirth of Reagan conservatism. Times have changed. The world has changed. Politics have changed and American values have changed. Americans are disgusted with self-proclaimed “pure” conservatives who believe government should stay out of peoples’ lives while the conservatives themselves still dictate how people live and think.

The results of Super Tuesday’s primary circus stand as irrefutable proof that “pure” conservatives have lost their stranglehold on the Republican party. Public disdain for ultra-conservative doctrine has caused an event unique in American history. It is now certain the only candidates running for president this year are Obama, Clinton (not sure which Clinton), and McCain. I believe this is the first time the Republican party has ever permitted a Democrat to be selected as the Republican party nominee for President. The Republican party as we know it is in its death throes. Good riddance.

Republicans find themselves in a lose-lose situation for America. No matter who wins the general election, we end up with a Democrat in the White House. That bodes ill for the middle class, it portends the end of credible health care in this country and invites every terrorist in the world to ignore our immigration laws and take up residence (and their war) on our territory. Thank you Rush and Sean, and all of your “pure” conservatives out there for turning almost all of the Republicans in this country against their own political party. It would not surprise me to discover you are both on the Clinton payroll.

It is time for a new definition and practice of conservatism; one that truly respects the principle of less government (including state and local government) and a position that champions the right of American citizens (and I mean American “citizens”) to privacy and personal choice. The American people have had enough of the ultra-conservative religious influence on our lives, our government and our country’s foreign politics. It appears quite the paradox that the ultra-conservatives conveniently ignored the intent of our founding fathers to separate state and religion.

The only current path left for Republicans is to wait out four disastrous years of a Democrat administration and in the meantime work very hard at rebuilding a new Republican party that is more in touch with the realities of today's world. Hopefully, time is on our side. With any luck, all of the ultra-conservative old farts with their finger up the Republican party’s asshole will have succumbed to old age before the Clinton-style Democrats (including McCain) totally destroy America and the American way of life we are allegedly entitled to enjoy.

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Christina Aguilera Shines
May 2, 2007

It isn’t often that a contemporary music artist comes to Raleigh, North Carolina. To be sure, we have our fair share of concerts but they are usually performed by old-timers like Chicago, Huey Lewis, Billy Joel and the like. Not that I’m knocking the old-timers. They all performed superbly. It would be nice though to see someone under the age of 50 shaking their badonkadonks on stage for a change.

That’s why I looked forward for months to the Christina Aguilera concert. Imagine; Christina coming to Raleigh. Miracles do happen. This miracle was all the more astounding because I suspected she was bringing along The Pussycat Dolls to open the show. Ticketmaster didn’t mention the Dolls, but I’d heard things.

Why my fascination with The Pussycat Dolls? Having (repeatedly) watched all of their music videos (including their live tour performance) I wasn’t convinced they really exist. Sorry, but who can believe five women singing that good, looking that good and moving that good could occupy the same space on the same stage at the same time? That would undoubtedly create a critical mass of estrogen that would explode with cataclysmic devastation surpassing a high-yield nuclear bomb.

The Pussycat Dolls have to be some kind of advanced CGI animation from Dreamworks or Pixar. I just wanted to see how they intended to fool us with a live performance. Disney doesn’t make animatronics “that” good.

After months of excited anticipation, Sondra and I ended up at the RBC Center in Raleigh. For once we even arrived early and beat most of the traffic. Armed with warm, fresh pretzels and drinks, we sat down in our cramped stadium seats to watch the concert.

A group called Danity Kane began the show with a talent contest. Apparently there was no winner. Five energetic young women ran all over the stage for what appeared to be their first day of cheerleading practice, all the while screeching several songs I never heard before (and hope I never hear again). I was thankful when they sang their last song “Showstopping,” which actually did stop the entire concert for about 15 minutes.

During the intermission I couldn’t suppress a horrible thought that the Pussycat Dolls had called in sick and Danity Kane was a last-minute replacement. Or maybe as originally suspected, The Pussycat Dolls aren’t real and the show producers had decided not to try fooling us with a contrived live performance. It seemed to take forever for the next part of the show to start. I was expecting Christina, but when the curtain went up, there they were.

Honest. Six very live, vivacious, beautiful and sexy Pussycat Dolls, just like in the videos. Singing and dancing for real. Ladies and gentlemen, The Pussycat Dolls are real. I’ve seen them. My CGI theory is down the drain. But there may be something to my explosive estrogen theory.

Sporadically during The Pussycat Dolls performance there were blinding flashes of white light from the stage whenever the Dolls got too close together and started throwing down moves. I’m not making this up. The flashes were so bright everyone on the stage would fade out momentarily. Luckily there wasn’t any permanent optic nerve damage although I did have trouble reading direction signs on the way back to the hotel after the concert.

We’re lucky they didn’t all come together for a group hug or something like that. It would have been the end of us all. How could anyone follow The Pussycat Dolls? I was beginning to think Christina had made a tactical mistake. You can’t watch Christina after you’ve been blinded by The Pussycat Dolls. At least, that’s what I thought.

After another agonizingly long intermission the music started up, the curtain rose, the background videos came on and Christina appeared at the center of a spectacular mosaic of light, dancers, musicians and costuming.

This was no concert. This was a two-hour extravaganza with Las Vegas, Broadway, Paris, and Hollywood seamlessly woven together with Christina’s incredible voice in a two-hour orgasm of audiovisual teasing, foreplay and fulfillment. I’ve been to the Moulon Rouge. I’ve seen the shows at Las Vegas, Tahoe, and Reno. I’ve attended a lot of concerts in my life and many of them have knocked my socks off. But this; this was . . . absolutely the best.

From the first time I saw a live performance video of Christina, I predicted she would eclipse any female performer before her. Christina sings so effortlessly with such unerring pitch and precision there is only one way she can possibly move for the forseeable future, and that is “up.” This is pure, raw talent and I suspect we’ve only witnessed the proverbial tip of the iceberg thus far. I think 30 years from know I’ll still be saying “I was right about Christina,” because she will still be there proving me right.

Thank you Jamie King, for choreographing and directing Christina’s concert. Thank you Roberto Cavalli, for the costume design. Kudos to the dancers, musicians and background singers. I have never seen such a successful collaboration of vision, talent and presentation. This one would be difficult for even Christina to top. But I hope I can be there for her next concert tour, when I’m sure she will.

To the girl who sat behind me at the concert and screamed “I love you Christina” several times in my ear, I only want to say; “She was 100 meters away you little groupie and she couldn’t hear you. I’m glad you lost your voice. The Pussycat Dolls took out my vision and you managed to take out my hearing.” But somehow it was all worth it, for Christina.

Thanks Christina, for coming to Raleigh. You outshine them all.

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Paris Hilton Chickens Out
April 26, 2007

During a concert in Las Vegas on 20 April (according to Us Magazine), Prince invited Paris Hilton to join him on stage. As he handed over the microphone, Prince said to the crowd, “Let’s see if she can really sing.”

Apparently she can’t. Paris reportedly became angry, stormed off the stage and left the club shortly thereafter. Prince is not commenting on the incident and a representative for Paris claims it never happened. Be that as it may, I congratulate Prince on his brilliantly executed plan to terminate any lingering public suspicion that Hilton has musical talent.

For more than 20 years, Prince has offered up a steady stream of musical masterpieces, electrifying performances and artistically sensual music videos. His influence on generations of performing artists is significant and undeniable. If anyone exemplifies natural talent, hard work and passion, Prince ranks at the top of the music industry. It would be sheer folly to question his musical judgment. So I join him in a chorus of “Ode to Paris Hilton’s Singing Career.”

Yes, in August 2006, I was one of the first purchasers of her newly released music CD. You’ve undoubtedly heard of vanity presses that writers use to self-publish books. The Paris CD was published by . . . Paris. She founded Heiress Records, which released (coincidentally) her own music CD. I believe hers is the only CD the company has released to date. Like that’s a big surprise. Now I know why no credible music publisher would handle her material.

I didn’t buy her CD for myself though, I bought it as a gift for Sondra. Sondra loves music. All types. In fact, Sondra loves a broad variety of music so much she will probably evolve far beyond the iPod generation to become one of the first consumers on Earth to have a satellite-radio music channel receiver chip implanted directly in her brain. I thought it would be nice to give Sondra the new Paris CD on the day of its release. After all, would Paris embarrass herself by making a music CD if she couldn’t sing? I guess I should have taken the hint from her famous (or infamous) porno video. Paris is not easily embarrassed.

The only talent related to her music CD belongs to the photographer who took her pictures for the case cover and insert. Paris does photograph well if the angles are right. Her music is another story. Paris sings about as good as Bumble in Happy Feet. If I wanted to listen to a high school chorus singing obscure songs to unimaginative musical arrangements, I’d have tuned in to NPR on a Sunday.

As for the CD, all wasn’t lost. Sondra was able to swap it the next day at LaLa.com for a different CD by someone with talent. Paris redefines the concept of oblivious. She obviously thought she could sing well enough to sink a ton of money into a recording business to publish herself. Publicity or no publicity, I’m sure there are infinitely more positive things Paris could do with her money than burden public eardrums with her mediocrity.

Rumor has it Paris is working on a second music album. Perhaps she just doesn’t care or maybe she has a trick up her sleeve (no pun intended). I find it interesting that Paris recently involved herself so closely with Britney Spears. In the grand tradition of Milli Vanilli, it wouldn’t surprise me if the next CD credited to Paris isn’t really Britney pretending to be Paris. We’ll all have to see if Britney can stay sober long enough to sing a few complete songs from backstage while Paris lip-synchs at a live concert.

Hopefully, Paris will learn that curiosity really can kill the cat when she releases her next CD. Consumers probably got over being burned once (on the first CD), but they’re not generally so stupid as to voluntarily ask for it a second time. Paris should forget her music career and return to her home video career. People with no musical talent can not learn how to sing, but practice goes a long way towards improving performances in the movies

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4/24/07 – Bush Lacks Confidence in U.S. Troops in Iraq
4/19/07 – Virginia Tech and the Aftermath
4/14/07 – McCain Fails The “Honor” Test
4/11/07 – U.S. Media Loves “Nappy-headed Hos”
4/10/07 – Al Sharpton Urinates On U.S. Constitution
4/5/07 – Japanese Naval Officers, Pornography And Missiles
4/1/07 – CDC Declares National Autism Crisis
2/12/07 – Japanese Men Can’t Get It Up
2/8/07 – Houston, We Have a Problem
2/7/07 – Manipulation by a Master

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